What Does It Mean To Be Absent?

The definition of ABSENT, according to the dictionary, means: gone, missing, not present.
It also means lacking, deficient, in short supply, nonexistent.

My question is what constitutes an absent parent? Admittedly, I have struggled with this periodically for the last two years. I first spent 17 months embedded with the United States Army's First Division and after a 12 month tour to Iraq I returned home. After 2 months at home I returned to work in the DC area. I work Monday through Friday and then make a 600 mile round trip every weekend to make sure I am home with my wife and kids as much as possible. There are many reasons my family does not move here with me, the least of which is the housing market and the inability to sell my home for what I owe on it. While there are several other considerations such as, the safe and highly rated schools in our area, and the fact that I may be deployed to Afghanistan in the very near future, the one of most concern is that I am in a position that ultimately depends on a contract. Current economic conditions make it a bit unsettling, and in my opinion unwise, to consider moving my family from a home we all love to a strange place only to be unemployed with the completion of my contract.

However, with all this being said, does geography determine whether or not a parent is absent in the lives of their kids?

In response to this question I have to consider the soldier who fights, bleeds and all too often dies in defense of our great nation. Is that soldier a bad parent? Should they say no to a greater calling that requires their geographical absence?

What about the Evangelist who spends the majority of his or her time traveling the world to reach the lost, but in doing so leaves his wife and children at home? Or the Christian Contemporary Rock band? Or closer to home, the fireman or policeman that works the night shift and then gets off work only to head to a second job so that his spouse can be home and they can provide for their children in the way they believe best for them?

I truly believe I cannot judge a parent's ability to raise their children in a biblical way, whether their in the home 7 days a week or not. First off, I don't know their circumstance and secondly, who am I too judge them.

Being absent from the lives of your children does not mean being gone, and it does not mean that your are not raising your children in a loving Godly home, but with the help of God I am thankful I am not the father I would have been apart from God and His guidance and His love.


I encourage all parents and especially fathers, to talk to your kids. I call my children everyday, usually in the mornings, and pray with them before they get their day started. I call them at the end of their day to see how their day was and I pray with them again. On the rare occasion I cannot call, I text them just to tell them how much I love them.

I wish I were home every night, but I thank God for the opportunity He has given me to provide for my family. It is not the way I would have wanted it, I am out of my comfort zone, but I believe it is a gift from God that I have been blessed with.. a great job and a great family. I may not always be there geographically, but I am not at all absent.


God Bless You All...