The definition of ABSENT, according to the dictionary, means: gone, missing, not present.
It also means lacking, deficient, in short supply, nonexistent.
My question is what constitutes an absent parent? Admittedly, I have struggled with this periodically for the last two years. I first spent 17 months embedded with the United States Army's First Division and after a 12 month tour to Iraq I returned home. After 2 months at home I returned to work in the DC area. I work Monday through Friday and then make a 600 mile round trip every weekend to make sure I am home with my wife and kids as much as possible. There are many reasons my family does not move here with me, the least of which is the housing market and the inability to sell my home for what I owe on it. While there are several other considerations such as, the safe and highly rated schools in our area, and the fact that I may be deployed to Afghanistan in the very near future, the one of most concern is that I am in a position that ultimately depends on a contract. Current economic conditions make it a bit unsettling, and in my opinion unwise, to consider moving my family from a home we all love to a strange place only to be unemployed with the completion of my contract.
However, with all this being said, does geography determine whether or not a parent is absent in the lives of their kids?
In response to this question I have to consider the soldier who fights, bleeds and all too often dies in defense of our great nation. Is that soldier a bad parent? Should they say no to a greater calling that requires their geographical absence?
What about the Evangelist who spends the majority of his or her time traveling the world to reach the lost, but in doing so leaves his wife and children at home? Or the Christian Contemporary Rock band? Or closer to home, the fireman or policeman that works the night shift and then gets off work only to head to a second job so that his spouse can be home and they can provide for their children in the way they believe best for them?
I truly believe I cannot judge a parent's ability to raise their children in a biblical way, whether their in the home 7 days a week or not. First off, I don't know their circumstance and secondly, who am I too judge them.
Being absent from the lives of your children does not mean being gone, and it does not mean that your are not raising your children in a loving Godly home, but with the help of God I am thankful I am not the father I would have been apart from God and His guidance and His love.
I encourage all parents and especially fathers, to talk to your kids. I call my children everyday, usually in the mornings, and pray with them before they get their day started. I call them at the end of their day to see how their day was and I pray with them again. On the rare occasion I cannot call, I text them just to tell them how much I love them.
I wish I were home every night, but I thank God for the opportunity He has given me to provide for my family. It is not the way I would have wanted it, I am out of my comfort zone, but I believe it is a gift from God that I have been blessed with.. a great job and a great family. I may not always be there geographically, but I am not at all absent.
God Bless You All...
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
GRATEFUL
Happy Memorial Day! This blog is not written by me and it represents the first blog I have posted belonging to someone else. However, once you read this from a great American you will understand why I chose to post it here for your reading enjoyment. Be inspired!
Im not really a blog kind of person but I figured I would give it a shot. There are a few things that run across my mind regularly while serving in Iraq, and oddly enough I just happened to have a way to put it down in "writing". You can read it in books, you can see it on tv, you can see it in the newspapers, but unless you have actually been here to watch these few, these happy few, who day after day put themselves at risk to complete the mission then you could never truly understand their sacrifices.
Some dont know what the mission is in the grand scheme, some dont even care, but regardless they will complete it with honor. Everyday I wake up to see these men of Bravo company take another step closer towards freedom. Not just freedom for themselves, for you or for me, but for the people of Iraq. They have left it all behind, some for a 2nd and 3rd time, and they conduct each day with nothing more than a guarantee that tomorrow is one day closer to home. They complain not about being here, not about why we're here, not even about how many times they have been here. Their complaints are usually that the water they shaved with this morning, assuming they were given the opportunity.
I can stare any one of these men in the face and read the story of what it is to serve honorably. Missing my incredibly supportive wife I can handle but waking up each day to see these heroes driving on as if this day was the greatest day I find hard to hold in. They ask nothing of their leaders except the truth. Listening to encouraging words will no longer be necessary for me when it gets hard in life for I have the expereinces of Bravo company to help me drive on.
I did not KNOW honor until I served with these Soldiers. I am truly a blessed man who has been given all that I have ever asked. My reward is to have this opportunity to serve along side them. Some of these men are no more then 17-18 years of age but make no mistake for they are as much a man as any one person you know. Words can never convey what these men do each day.
I did not know what to expect when I came to Iraq. I did not understand my place on the battlefield in the current fight and I certainly did not understand entirely what it would mean to serve along side Americas finest. I believe I now know my role and it is a role I take very seriously. I will do whatever it takes to get all these men home safely and back to their families. Everytime I leave the wire I know they are watching out for me. Sometimes I can tell they are watching out for me more so than they are themselves. At first I thought it was because I was a Lieutenant, and maybe so at first, but not anymore. Now they do it because Im one of them...........Bravo Company.
To all who know me, you know that I love my wife, my family, and my soldiers more than anything. If you have never had the opportunity to serve alongside them I implore you to speak with them. He is not a robot anymore than anyone else, but if you attack him, his instincts will seem almost reflexive in nature. America, sleep sound tonight. The Soldiers of Bravo Company will tuck you in with the power of freedom and all that it offers. They will ask nothing of you and it is likely they never will.
When you see these few, these happy few, tell them you love them for their sacrifice and that you slept well tonight.
Kyle A. Comfort, 2LT FA
Bravo Co FSO
2-502D IN REGT
I wanted to take the opportunity to give you a report from the funeral for one of our warriors where I was your GO representative.
CPT Kyle A. Comfort was buried on MON, 17 May, in Jacksonville, Alabama. Kyle was assigned to D CO 3rd/75th Ranger Regiment and was killed approximately two weeks ago in combat in Afghanistan. He was survived by his wife of 5 years, and their 6 month old daughter.
The turnout/support for his wake and funeral was simply amazing...1000+ folks at the church and lining the approximately 3 mile route through town to his final resting place (accompanied by 300+ motorcycle riders from the various support riding groups).
What I wanted to provide for your personal SA is the following BLOG that was read at his eulogy and was written by him as a young 2LT serving with 2nd BDE of the 101st in Iraq about two years ago. I found it to be one of the most profound descriptions of our soldierly bonds that I've ever heard.
CPT Kyle A. Comfort was buried on MON, 17 May, in Jacksonville, Alabama. Kyle was assigned to D CO 3rd/75th Ranger Regiment and was killed approximately two weeks ago in combat in Afghanistan. He was survived by his wife of 5 years, and their 6 month old daughter.
The turnout/support for his wake and funeral was simply amazing...1000+ folks at the church and lining the approximately 3 mile route through town to his final resting place (accompanied by 300+ motorcycle riders from the various support riding groups).
What I wanted to provide for your personal SA is the following BLOG that was read at his eulogy and was written by him as a young 2LT serving with 2nd BDE of the 101st in Iraq about two years ago. I found it to be one of the most profound descriptions of our soldierly bonds that I've ever heard.
BG Raymond "Tony" Thomas
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Distance means nothing
Current mood: grateful
To All,
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Distance means nothing
Current mood: grateful
To All,
Im not really a blog kind of person but I figured I would give it a shot. There are a few things that run across my mind regularly while serving in Iraq, and oddly enough I just happened to have a way to put it down in "writing". You can read it in books, you can see it on tv, you can see it in the newspapers, but unless you have actually been here to watch these few, these happy few, who day after day put themselves at risk to complete the mission then you could never truly understand their sacrifices.
Some dont know what the mission is in the grand scheme, some dont even care, but regardless they will complete it with honor. Everyday I wake up to see these men of Bravo company take another step closer towards freedom. Not just freedom for themselves, for you or for me, but for the people of Iraq. They have left it all behind, some for a 2nd and 3rd time, and they conduct each day with nothing more than a guarantee that tomorrow is one day closer to home. They complain not about being here, not about why we're here, not even about how many times they have been here. Their complaints are usually that the water they shaved with this morning, assuming they were given the opportunity.
I can stare any one of these men in the face and read the story of what it is to serve honorably. Missing my incredibly supportive wife I can handle but waking up each day to see these heroes driving on as if this day was the greatest day I find hard to hold in. They ask nothing of their leaders except the truth. Listening to encouraging words will no longer be necessary for me when it gets hard in life for I have the expereinces of Bravo company to help me drive on.
I did not KNOW honor until I served with these Soldiers. I am truly a blessed man who has been given all that I have ever asked. My reward is to have this opportunity to serve along side them. Some of these men are no more then 17-18 years of age but make no mistake for they are as much a man as any one person you know. Words can never convey what these men do each day.
I did not know what to expect when I came to Iraq. I did not understand my place on the battlefield in the current fight and I certainly did not understand entirely what it would mean to serve along side Americas finest. I believe I now know my role and it is a role I take very seriously. I will do whatever it takes to get all these men home safely and back to their families. Everytime I leave the wire I know they are watching out for me. Sometimes I can tell they are watching out for me more so than they are themselves. At first I thought it was because I was a Lieutenant, and maybe so at first, but not anymore. Now they do it because Im one of them...........Bravo Company.
To all who know me, you know that I love my wife, my family, and my soldiers more than anything. If you have never had the opportunity to serve alongside them I implore you to speak with them. He is not a robot anymore than anyone else, but if you attack him, his instincts will seem almost reflexive in nature. America, sleep sound tonight. The Soldiers of Bravo Company will tuck you in with the power of freedom and all that it offers. They will ask nothing of you and it is likely they never will.
When you see these few, these happy few, tell them you love them for their sacrifice and that you slept well tonight.
Kyle A. Comfort, 2LT FA
Bravo Co FSO
2-502D IN REGT
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Good Morning World!
If the title sounds a bit chipper I guess that is because I am in a very good mood this morning. Not for any particular reason other than knowing that I have a personal relationship with a God that loves me in spite all my short comings.
In fact, over the past couple of weeks I have been feeling pretty lousy physically and last night I broke a tooth, which according to my very knowledgeable wife is the reason I have been feeling so poorly.
Know I am not excited about going to the dentist or spending the money I would prefer to put away given the state of the economy and the very uncertain future....uncertain, that is, to those without a relationship with Jesus Christ. Now HE is the reason I can smile despite having a broken tooth.
This morning I just wanted to share the love I feel for my Savior, my family and friends. The love of life and the joy of knowing my future when so many are living in the darkness in fear of what tomorrow might bring.
Let's bring hope to the world by letting our light shine even when the world wants to turn it off.
God bless you and have a wonderful day!
In fact, over the past couple of weeks I have been feeling pretty lousy physically and last night I broke a tooth, which according to my very knowledgeable wife is the reason I have been feeling so poorly.
Know I am not excited about going to the dentist or spending the money I would prefer to put away given the state of the economy and the very uncertain future....uncertain, that is, to those without a relationship with Jesus Christ. Now HE is the reason I can smile despite having a broken tooth.
This morning I just wanted to share the love I feel for my Savior, my family and friends. The love of life and the joy of knowing my future when so many are living in the darkness in fear of what tomorrow might bring.
Let's bring hope to the world by letting our light shine even when the world wants to turn it off.
God bless you and have a wonderful day!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Send Me!
Send me! This is Isaiah's response when the Lord asks, "Who shall I send? Who will go for Us?" "Here I am. Send me."
Are you that ready? Is it that simple? What tough decision are you struggling with right now in which you already know the right answer? You know what God would do, yet you still struggle with whether or not it is what you want to do. After all, God does not have to live with the outcome, you do. How unfair is this?
I have learned how out of control I can become when I think I am the one in control. I can recall times of extreme peace in the midst of extreme difficulty when I submit to God and go with His will.
I am not going to write as much as I normally do because I don't think there is much more I can say. Are you ready? Will you go when God calls? If the answer is no then pray that tomorrow the answer will become yes. Prepare for eternity by changing no to yes so others will see, follow and also come to know the greatness of our God. Don't live life in fear, live life with God.
Are you that ready? Is it that simple? What tough decision are you struggling with right now in which you already know the right answer? You know what God would do, yet you still struggle with whether or not it is what you want to do. After all, God does not have to live with the outcome, you do. How unfair is this?
I have learned how out of control I can become when I think I am the one in control. I can recall times of extreme peace in the midst of extreme difficulty when I submit to God and go with His will.
I am not going to write as much as I normally do because I don't think there is much more I can say. Are you ready? Will you go when God calls? If the answer is no then pray that tomorrow the answer will become yes. Prepare for eternity by changing no to yes so others will see, follow and also come to know the greatness of our God. Don't live life in fear, live life with God.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Too Much, Too Fast, Too Brash!
Have you ever stopped to ask yourselves where we are heading? Not necessarily as an individual on a particular day, but as a society in a particular, or perhaps peculiar, time. There are so many things happening around us at such a high speed, I wonder if we are taking the time to consider the implications of the decisions we make to use, or in how we use, the "social" communications outlets currently available to us today.
I am all at once impressed and appalled by what I often read on blogs, facebook, myspace, email, and twitter. I have no idea how to properly use most I have mentioned and I am sure I am totally uninformed of others that surely exist.
I have no intention here of criticizing the different venues we use to communicate. In fact, I believe the same example gun advocates use, "Guns don't kill, people do", applies to the correct, or incorrect, use of pens, paper, computers and other modern methods of communications.
I don't recall who said it, but it was once said that "The pen is mightier than the sword", or was it "The pen is sharper than the sword"? I am not sure, but perhaps both are right to the extent that what we say can either heal or kill, or in the very least, wound.
I am so afraid that we are creating a generation of cowards, hypocrites and thoughtless insensitivity. For example, I have read some of the most inspiring stories that would never be heard if not for the blogs that have given us the opportunity. However, I have also read on facebook the most stinging criticisms of people, things, and places. When we write these things do we ever stop and think how they may affect the intended and unintended recipient? Would we say the same things to their face? Would we even want to? Are we unwillingly, unintentionally, or even ignorantly making our choice of communications a dangerous weapon or an instrument for healing, encouraging and sharing the wonderful things God has done for us even in spite of our own sin.
I very much believe the African proverb applies to the Christian community; "It takes a village to raise a child". I also believe in the importance of accountability groups or "battle buddies" for adults. We all know there is a war that wages daily and we need to have people around us able and willing to come to our aide.
I am proposing we no longer take the easy and wide path to criticism, but rather the unfortunately narrow path to righteousness by first removing the plank from our own eyes and then going directly to the source of our contention with a sincere and righteous heart. Don't hide behind the computer, but rather stand boldly with and for the truth of God.
As always, my writings are not a condemnation of others as much as it is a God inspired self-examination of my own life as it relates to what I see, read, hear and do. I simply pray that my expressions do not harm anyone, but rather provide the opportunity for self reflection, awareness and productive discussions for the righteous way forward.
God bless you all.
James 3:13-18 NIV
I am all at once impressed and appalled by what I often read on blogs, facebook, myspace, email, and twitter. I have no idea how to properly use most I have mentioned and I am sure I am totally uninformed of others that surely exist.
I have no intention here of criticizing the different venues we use to communicate. In fact, I believe the same example gun advocates use, "Guns don't kill, people do", applies to the correct, or incorrect, use of pens, paper, computers and other modern methods of communications.
I don't recall who said it, but it was once said that "The pen is mightier than the sword", or was it "The pen is sharper than the sword"? I am not sure, but perhaps both are right to the extent that what we say can either heal or kill, or in the very least, wound.
I am so afraid that we are creating a generation of cowards, hypocrites and thoughtless insensitivity. For example, I have read some of the most inspiring stories that would never be heard if not for the blogs that have given us the opportunity. However, I have also read on facebook the most stinging criticisms of people, things, and places. When we write these things do we ever stop and think how they may affect the intended and unintended recipient? Would we say the same things to their face? Would we even want to? Are we unwillingly, unintentionally, or even ignorantly making our choice of communications a dangerous weapon or an instrument for healing, encouraging and sharing the wonderful things God has done for us even in spite of our own sin.
I very much believe the African proverb applies to the Christian community; "It takes a village to raise a child". I also believe in the importance of accountability groups or "battle buddies" for adults. We all know there is a war that wages daily and we need to have people around us able and willing to come to our aide.
I am proposing we no longer take the easy and wide path to criticism, but rather the unfortunately narrow path to righteousness by first removing the plank from our own eyes and then going directly to the source of our contention with a sincere and righteous heart. Don't hide behind the computer, but rather stand boldly with and for the truth of God.
As always, my writings are not a condemnation of others as much as it is a God inspired self-examination of my own life as it relates to what I see, read, hear and do. I simply pray that my expressions do not harm anyone, but rather provide the opportunity for self reflection, awareness and productive discussions for the righteous way forward.
God bless you all.
James 3:13-18 NIV
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